Going to assume OP is legit
How likely is she to keep a secret like this?
Zero point zero.
Look bro, I get that a lot of guys these days are confused due to propaganda and group-think, but in the old days we knew one absolute truth: You cannot trust a woman to keep any of your secrets, ever.
Moments like this make me think I have a shot.
With a 60 year old when you're 30? it's not so much about the right approach as much as post-menopause women having effectively no sex drive.
A woman already naturally has a much weaker sex drive than a man. When you add in going through menopause, they're worlds apart. You could do everything right and she'd still turn you down simply because it does nothing for her. It can't. Best of luck.