Author Topic: Mother and Bully original story Chapter Two  (Read 56765 times)

xWrit

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on: June 01, 2021, 06:10:08 PM
Hi BFMM!

A few weeks ago I shared chapter one of an original story I wrote, and a few of you were interested enough to want more. More has arrived!

Again, I'm sharing this without too much editing, so bear with me if there are a few typos here and there. Chapter one has been edited a bit with some minor changes. I'm adding chapter two to the same document as chapter one.

Enjoy!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1jWhPfA6IgoNnwYuSW4HoVpA3_56m931_yg99vTmG9CE/edit?pli=1



Nattyscuck

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Reply #1 on: June 02, 2021, 03:26:51 AM
This is one of the perfect stories I've ever read. I really loved this story and came to it. I
Please continue to write this.



Vanger

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Reply #2 on: June 02, 2021, 11:03:01 AM
Damn, really hot story I hope there will be more



acidus80

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Reply #3 on: June 02, 2021, 12:52:42 PM
yo! that was so good! this story has a lot of potential! Keep it up! I can't wait for the next chapter.



Miniwand

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Reply #4 on: June 02, 2021, 02:18:07 PM
So hot. I don't know how you'll continue but it's one of the best bully/mother story I've read.



GeneralZod

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Reply #5 on: June 03, 2021, 05:44:17 AM
This is great!

Is this the first thing that you have written? You have writing talent.  :)



VolFanXxX

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Reply #6 on: June 08, 2021, 11:22:21 AM
Love thisstory and ch 2 is really good and cant wait to read the next ones
and see what all of them do to the mom and her weak son

Great Job it is one of the best storys on this site that is not done



xWrit

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Reply #7 on: June 19, 2021, 04:31:33 PM
I'm glad the story is being received well and appreciated! I'm in the process of starting a new job in a new place atm so I'll be on a writing hiatus for the next month or so, but I plan to get back to it and produce chp 3 at some point.

I intended these posts as sort of test runs for this story, so I might change aspects of the plot and characters later on to fit with where I decide to take it.  I'm especially curious what you guys thinj worked/didn't work, where you'd like to see the story go, and generally any suggestions or constructive criticisms you have about what I've written.  I'm particularly interested in if you think the seduction scene in chp 1 was too rushed, if that should be extended with more innocent banter or casual flirtation.  Re-reading it myself, Hannah does kind of give in pretty quickly without too much buildup.

Thanks everyone for the positive comments! I can't believe I wrote something like this and that people read it...you guys are fucking weird, but then so am I...  :P



Ankit78

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Reply #8 on: June 19, 2021, 11:33:27 PM
Please write more .... I have a request if you consider ... Can you add more spanking for being a slutty mom and little more dirty talking on the mom's side one the next chapter ......

Btw What do you think about gabgbangs, being a slave for the bullies ... And also tattoo and piercing ... The bully can claim her as his slut by adding tattoos and piercings... .. i will be waiting for the next chapter
« Last Edit: June 19, 2021, 11:35:32 PM by Ankit78 »



acidus80

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Reply #9 on: June 20, 2021, 04:46:56 AM
here's a pic I did between Dane and Hannah, enjoy  ;)




Miniwand

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Reply #10 on: June 20, 2021, 03:39:08 PM
Honestly, the story is very good so far. Maybe you could rework on the seduction but I liked it fine. She doesn't know he is a bully so it's not like she has to resist the seduction and with her character, it is realistic that she does succumb easily.



acidus80

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Reply #11 on: June 23, 2021, 11:58:36 AM
another one (the part where she gives him a BJ)




Mommyscuck

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Reply #12 on: June 24, 2021, 06:20:24 PM
another one (the part where she gives him a BJ)

that... looks like my mom...



xWrit

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Reply #13 on: June 27, 2021, 04:48:53 PM
here's a pic I did between Dane and Hannah, enjoy  ;)

Thank you for bringing my story to life! Can I ask how you made those images? What program did you use?



acidus80

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Reply #14 on: June 28, 2021, 07:44:36 AM
it's mainly done in Daz3d, but the texturing and post work is done in PS. Keep up the good work. Anxiously waiting for the next update!