Bully Fucks My Mom

GENERAL DISCUSSION => Fapping Materials => Topic started by: vanillacoke on December 27, 2023, 08:58:47 PM

Title: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: vanillacoke on December 27, 2023, 08:58:47 PM
Something I conjured up in my free time. It's a sinister story about a Mother fucking her son's bully behind his back in his own bedroom. Might write a sequel later on if I'm bothered. Let me know your thoughts?

https://rentry.org/psaze
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: vanillacoke on December 28, 2023, 02:34:23 AM
Quote from: conquerallmommies on December 28, 2023, 02:21:22 AM
very awful redundant

You made an account just to troll? Lmfao!
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: JonahJones on December 28, 2023, 07:55:11 AM
Hey don't listen to that other guy. I honestly thought it was great. No time wasting build up. Just right to the action and lots of focus on the degradation and bullying aspect. I really hope you keep going and take the bullying even farther in the future. That's the part that really matters. I'm tired of every author trying to be the next tolkein with their elaborate storylines and BS. This is one of the better one's ive read.
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: spiky green cactus on December 28, 2023, 12:31:15 PM
Very good for a first story
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: AlphaKARA on December 29, 2023, 01:55:48 AM
Omg.  This site is nasty and I am amazed at how an imagination can be so degenerate.  I hate to admit it gets my juices going.  Waiting for part 2
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: youngmasterbully18 on December 29, 2023, 08:56:59 AM
great story bro. I look forward to more stories from you. But I would like you to develop the characters more and for everything to happen more calmly, for things to happen more slowly.
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: lasuite1 on December 29, 2023, 02:30:23 PM
hot story i like plz anal in part 2
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: Al_Anon on December 31, 2023, 01:56:22 AM
Overall, quite good. A few technical quibbles could easily be solved by a good proofreader. That would catch stuff like using 'things go worst' instead of 'things go worse' there near the beginning.

Thematically, not the greatest fan of the son & bully both seeming to be so immature. I'm not going to post the age that they seem like, but I will say that I doubt either of them are graduating high-school this year. Its one thing if the son is innocent and naive -that just makes him seem more pathetic. But the bully, in my opinion, should have come across as a man compared to the son. Every mention of him being a boy, or small, or anything like that simply took me out of the story until I 'fixed it' with a mental edit.
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: cuck4rubi on January 02, 2024, 07:19:31 PM
This was really hot, hope to see more!
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: conquerallmommies on January 03, 2024, 07:09:43 AM
so many white cocksuckers
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: forever316 on January 05, 2024, 06:26:04 AM
That story was amazing. God I hope in part 2 they keep doing obvious things and the son stays oblivious for quite a while. I loved how dark it got at the end there.I can't wait for more
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: veenaimo on January 06, 2024, 10:47:39 PM
That was fucking awesome... you can give prequel on how mom ended up inviting bully to home.. and you can also do sequel ... waiting 
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: siggy on January 11, 2024, 12:07:43 AM
Fantastic story! Can't wait for part 2.
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: lasuite1 on February 05, 2024, 03:16:27 PM
any new her for part 2?
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: Cuck on March 02, 2024, 01:25:01 PM
Keep it up
Title: Re: Story - Deceitful Mother
Post by: lasuite1 on March 21, 2024, 01:48:09 AM
?????????????????