Hey guys. This post is for self introduction and to express myself and my situation. It might even seem a little emotional for you xD. So if you are looking for real life photos or something to get you horny, sadly, you wont find it here.
I am Daniel, 19 years old, live with my mom, stepfather and little brother. I speak spanish and english, just in case anyone wants to talk.
It is pretty much unknown for me how did I get exactly into this "fetish", I think it was some sort of mommy issues and my introduction to cuckold porn. I have to say, I am surprised that communities such as this exists, it amazes me, and makes me quite happy and understood.
However, being bully and humilliation the main focus in most of this communities, even if it also turns me on, my interest was not that, but more of a open minded and trustful relationship with my mom, where she shares everything with me and I would even encourage her to make use of her womanhood how young and full of energy she should be.
You see, my mom had me being and 17 year old girl, and I've always feel that I took a giant part of her life, even ruined it, maybe. I feel guilt for her having to always work, and not spending much on her own social life.
Being raised in and house full of men siblings, she attempted to be both a mom and a dad for me, and in that attemps, I feel she failed to be any of both in an efective way. I never felt a really deep, emotional, trustful and intimate connection to her, that a caring mother should, and I also never felt the self steem, confidence and audacity encouraged by her, that a father should give. Not because she is a bad person, but because she was and is too ignorant and unexperienced to accomplish it.
Becuase of all of this, we have a very problematic realtionship. I know I am unfair to her sometimes, and she also is unfair to me sometimes, but I seem to be the only one that feel guilt and regret for this and recognice my mistakes. She just seem to refugee herself in some sort destructive pride.
We also live with my little brother and stepfather (which I also have a complicated relationship with, not a bad person, but a complicated one), so I would never encourage her to cheat on him or something.
There are just some many problems in home. Tension is always high, economic problems, I just feel like dead weight for them. I always think that for me, the best solution would be to go away, quit college and live alone, however, because of some stuff about nationality, this whole thing is more complicated for me than any other person. None of these situations give place for us to develop an open relationship like a said before, and be free to enjoy it.
This all would be more simple if things were like years ago, when it was just she and me, and I would even confess her how I felt and I know her past self would not be jugdemental to me if I were honest and careful to tell her. Her current self is just not the same. Telling her something like that now, would end up destroying our relationship and making everything worse.
When think about it, I realise that I am and was just a boy that loves his mother more than anything in the world, that wanted to give back what I took from her, that all I want is just to see the being I love the most in the world in her true form and everything she is, a loving mother, her sensuality, femminity and overall, a women. To support her in her persue for everything that will make her happy, including her sexual gratification.
It depresses me to know I will never be able to confess her how much I want to understand her, support, know more about her and let her trust me her true self.
